|
| |
Below are most or all of the itchy and scratcy
episodes
Theme Song:
They fight! and bite!
They fight and bite and fight!
Fight, fight, fight!
Bite, bite, bite!
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
There's No Disgrace Like Home
Scratchy chases Itchy into his hole and ends up with his head stuck in the hole. Itchy
stuffs a bomb into his mouth. Cut to outside-the-hole view, when the bomb explodes, a cat
skeleton remains. Itchy rolls Scratchy's head through the skeleton ribs.
Krusty Gets Busted
Scratchy reclines in a hammock. Itchy shoots him with a flaming arrow. Scratchy jumps
around on fire, screaming.
Let Them Eat Scratchy
A French revolution theme. Itchy cuts off Scratchy's head with a guillotine. Scratchy's
head rolls to a stop (the expression on Scratchy's face here is priceless) and Itchy
stuffs a bomb into his mouth.After the explosion, all that's left is a cat skull.
Hold That Feline
Itchy tees up a football-bomb and kicks it. Scratchy catches it just before it explodes,
leaving a huge crater. Several HUGE football- jerseyed cats pile on to the crater,
presumably crushing Scratchy.
Kitchen Cut Ups
Itchy and Scratchy are pounding each other with meat tenderizers. Next we see Scratchy
pinned to the counter while Itchy tries to stab him with a butcher knife. Finally, Itchy
connects and Scratchy screams. [After a brief cut away from the TV] We then briefly see
Itchy wielding an electric mixer.
Messenger Of Death
Scratchy answers a knock at the door, looks down and sees Itchy, who draws a bazooka, aims
directly at Scratchy's head, and fires.Scratchy's body is left intact, but his head is a
skull. Zoom back to see the TV in the Simpsons' living room, from which we see Scratchy's
skull fall off his neck (a couple of vertebrae still visible).
Oh Say, Can You See
Itchy hits Scratchy in the back of the head with a mallet, knocking his eyes out. While
Scratchy gropes around to retrieve his eyeballs, Itchy hands him two lit cherry bombs,
which Scratchy inserts in his eye sockets. He then goes to the mirror and brushes his hair
(able to see with the cherry bombs) and notices the discrepancy just before the explosion
.
Field Of Screams I
Itchy and Scratchy playing baseball and wreaking violence on each other with baseball
bats, a squirrel with Marge Simpson hair chides them and tells them to stop it. Itchy
knocks her head out of the park with a baseball bat. Itchy and Scratchy then shake hands
Field Of Screams II
Scratchy and Scratchy Jr. are enjoying a game of catch in a field of wheat .Itchy and
Itchy Jr. arrive on the scene in a thresher and run over Scratchy & Son. The next
thing we see is Itchy and Itchy Jr. playing their own game of catch with a cat head.
Rest In Pieces
We see a grave ("SCRATCHY -- Rest in peace") with wires running out of it. The
wires lead to a detonator, operated by Itchy. He blows the grave apart, blowing a fiery,
screaming cat skeleton into the air.
Marge's "kinder, gentler" Itchy &
Scratchy production.
The first "kinder, gentler" Itchy and Scratchy production. Forced By Marge's
Anti Violence Campaign.
They love! They share!
They share and love and share!
Love, love, love!
Share, share, share!
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
Itchy and Scratchy are sitting in rocking chairs on a porch with a table holding a pitcher
of lemonade between them. The dialogue is as follows [transcribed by Raymond Chen]:
Itchy: Lemonade?
[3-second pause]
Scratchy: Please.
Itchy: I made it just for you.
Scratchy: You are my best friend.
[after dialogue in Simpsons' living room]
Itchy: Mm, this really hits the spot.
Scratchy: Doesn't it, though.
Itchy: You make really good lemonade, Scratchy.
Scratchy: [embarrassed] Oh, thank you, Itchy.
[superimpose a heart with `The End' on it]
Goodbye World
Itchy pulls a pistol on Scratchy, Scratchy pulls a bigger one on Itchy,Itchy pulls yet a
bigger one, Scratchy one even bigger. Repeat once more. Zoom out to
entire-Western-hemisphere view (Central N. America clearly labeled "United
States"), where this sequence is repeated once. Zoom out to global view, where the
sequence is repeated once more, with Itchy getting the final draw and shooting. Scratchy
achieves escape velocity and is blown by the camera view, screaming. He plunges directly
into the sun, leaving a puddle about the size of Jupiter.
Sundae Bloody Sundae
Scratchy sits down at a soda fountain, but tries to run when he sees that the soda jerk is
Itchy. Itchy grabs him and stuffs him into a metal shake container, and puts it under the
mixer. Voila: Scratchy puree. Freeze framers: step through the part where Scratchy
reconstitutes himself!(He drinks himself, through the straw, back into shape.)
Bang The Cat Slowly
Itchy and Scratchy are having a birthday party ("Happy Birthday Scratchy" banner
looms large in the background). Itchy produces a box and puts a lit bomb in it, wraps it,
grabs Scratchy's tongue (easily, since Scratchy's expression is wide-eyed and open-mouthed
in anticipation of his obvious fate) and uses it as wrapping ribbon. He then pulls it back
and snaps it into Scratchy's mouth, where it obviously lodges in Scratchy's neck. Scratchy
blinks and the bomb explodes. Cut to above the scene, where Scratchy's head and his party
hat are twirling separately. The party hat lands (cone up) on Scratchy's neck, and
Scratchy's head comes down on it with enough force to push the conical party hat through
the entire head (from ear to ear).
O Solo Meow
The title card depicts Itchy putting Scratchy's head through a pasta maker.Scratchy is
seated at a table in a restaurant. Itchy, the waiter, arrives with a spaghetti platter
which contains a bomb. Scratchy, oblivious to the bomb, twirls the spaghetti and bomb
together on his fork and eats it.While slurping the spaghetti strands, he sees the fuse
(in place of the last spaghetti strand) burn down.Realizing what has happened, he
frantically jumps around screaming and runs through a door to the outside. Unfortunately,
the door is too low, and Scratchy is decapitated on the way. His body explodes outside,
leaving a smoking hole. A pink dog-busboy comes along and trips over Scratchy's head,
causing all his dishes to crash to the floor. Cut to Itchy, who is giggling.
The Sounds Of Silencers
St. Valentine's Day Massacre theme: Itchy is in a police uniform, slapping his club into
his palm, while several tough-looking, hoodlum- dressed cats are lined up against a wall.
No sign of Scratchy. Itchy, completely without provocation, pulls out a Thompson .45
caliber submachine gun and opens up on the unsuspecting gangland cats. As blood flows
liberally, Itchy begins blasting "THE END" into the wall with bullet
holes.Before he can finish, one more hapless cat wanders onto the scene (one guess who).
Itchy blasts the "D" through him, he falls, and "THE END" remains on
the wall, with the "D" in red. [Post-cartoon line: "It's funny 'cause it's
true," spoken by Fat Tony.]
My Dinner With Itchy
Itchy and Scratchy are having dinner in a fancy restaurant. Itchy gives Scratchy a carafe
of green acid, which Scratchy (presumably thinking it is wine) ingests. When he looks down
to see his skeletal insides, Itchy throws the rest of the acid into his face. Scratchy
screams and runs,blinded, out of the restaraunt and into the street, where he is run over
by a bus.
House Of Pain
We open to a shot of Itchy standing in front of Scratchy, who is bound with thick ropes to
a post. Itchy climbs a stepladder with a hammer and a very large nail, and holds it up to
Scratchy's forehead, clearly intending to drive it. Scratchy, of course, screams. The view
changes to a behind-Scratchy's-head shot, Itchy drives the nail, and we see it emerge from
the back of the post.The shot returns to the previous view and we see that the nail
has,indeed, been driven through Scratchy's forehead. Itchy, in what may be his most
deliciously ironic move yet, hangs a picture of a smiling Itchy and Scratchy with their
arms around each other on the newly-driven nail.
Cat Splat Fever
While "There's No Place Like Home" plays as background music, we see Scratchy in
the bedroom, in which there are separate beds labeled "Itchy" and
"Scratchy" and a picture of the two on the wall. Scratchy finds a note on
Itchy's bed: "Goodbye Cruel World -- Itchy" and looks outside just in time to
see Itchy jump into a well. He runs out and dives into the well himself, presumably to
rescue Itchy, who is sitting on a ledge watching Scratchy fall to the bottom.Once at the
bottom, Scratchy falls into the jaws of an alligator, who chews him up and slurps him down
(watch closely here as Scratchy's tail gets slurped down a la spaghetti!). A ghostlike
Scratchy-angel, complete with wings and halo, ascends through the well until level with
Itchy. It's worth watching this next sequence closely: Itchy levels a revolver at
Scratchy's head and blasts it. After flattening out briefly, Scratchy's head recovers its
shape, but with a large hole. Scratchy glances upward in time to see his halo depart, then
falls back, um, downward. Itchy waves bye-bye. After a brief shot of Lisa laughing, we see
the closing card: Itchy's and Scratchy's faces with a yellow ribbon and the legend
"Dedicated to Timmy O'Toole."
I'm Getting Buried In The Morning
The title card shows Scratchy as a meat-cleaver-wielding groom, chasing Itchy, who is
wearing a (white) bridal gown. Scratchy is getting married to a brown girl-cat! We hear a
couple of bars of the Wedding March from Mendelssohn's "A Midsummer Night's
Dream," which turns into generic cartoon music. The officiant's face is obscured by
his hat. Just before the proceedings begin, the minister throws off his hat to reveal that
he is, in fact, Rabbi Itchy. Scratchy, oblivious, is kissing his bride (cf. the
Milhouse/Samantha kiss) when Itchy, in a shameless "Goldfinger" reference,
throws his deadly hat, severing the bride's head (her body falls away, as Scratchy is
holding her head) and splashing blood on Scratchy's pink tie and tails (ho ho--*tails*,
get it?). Scratchy is still holding the severed head (which is still puckered up) and
kissing it when he notices and screams, just before the top hat returns, boomerang-like,
to sever his own head. There are a few frames here of the gruesome sight of Scratchy's
headless body (his head has fallen away) holding the bride's still-puckered bodiless head.
The next shot we see is Itchy, driving off down the road with a "Just Married"
sign on his car (a pink convertible), with the heads of the bride and groom tied to the
rear bumper and bouncing all the way. The Wedding March from Wagner's
"Lohengrin" plays in the background. Note the rural setting and the license
plate that says ITCHY. (Note: also that *both* heads now have protruding tongues.)
Fly Me To The Moon
The title card shows an American-flag-wielding Itchy chasing Scratchy. Scratchy is reading
the newspaper, the banner headline of which says "MOON SHOT TODAY." Itchy
appears at the window and grabs an oblivious Scratchy's tongue and runs with it . . . . .
. to the launching pad of the aforementioned moon shot. He ties it securely around one of
the rocket's tailfins and awaits the launch. [Of course, we are anticipating Scratchy's
liftoff when the rocket yanks him by his tongue. Boy, are we in for a surprise.] The
rocket blasts off and Scratchy's tongue unreels for the entire 250,000-mile trip. The
rocket makes several quick orbits, leaving Scratchy's tongue in a Gordian knot around the
moon. After a pregnant pause, Scratchy's tongue exerts enough of a pull on the moon to
bring it hurtling toward earth--specifically, Scratchy's house. Scratchy notices something
is wrong, goes to the window to look, and sees the rapidly growing apparent size of the
moon. He screams, runs about with arms flailing and finally heads for the closet to hide.
The "camera" pulls back for a wide shot of the house just as the moon strikes
Scratchy's house, more than adequately flattening it. Cut to "mouse-ion" control
[sorry]. A control room full of Itchies, watching on the big monitor, is cheering and
popping champagne corks. Mission: successful
|
